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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Sca'Mort Lantravaughn's LiveJournal:
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|Sunday, June 6th, 2010|
|Friday, April 23rd, 2010|
|Long time? Long post.
Thanks to everyone for your well wishes. I really need to determine if LARPing is something I do tautologically, or if its something I do because I really enjoy it. 6-7 years is a long time to be doing something.
This all occurred to me the other day after a long conversation with Audrey. I was asking if she would take umbrage with the amount of time I spend larping/gaming in a month, since I had been doing it for so long and wasnt planning on quitting any time soon. She said that was odd, since in one of our first conversations I spoke about how it was probably going to be one of those things I quit soon b/c I wasn't having as much fun with it anymore.
I of course defended my position, citing that I could change my mind. But, more secretly, I started thinking about WHY I would have changed my mind like that. 180s aren't really my style anymore. I mean, I can do em just fine, but I don't like to because it indicates a certain waverance in my thought processes. So, it's time for a thought experiment. I'm seeking to determine if I will miss the act, or if I will find fulfillment in other activities.
Currently, it is my hypothesis that I will find fulfillment elsewhere. A sub-theory is that I will be able to retain my current friendships, but my irritation when conversations devolve into game-mechanics, plots, game drama, etc. will go up in direct proportion with how long I have been absent. Obviously, something like that is difficult to measure, so I leave it to you, gentle readers, to discern my irritation level.
On a related note, I was thinking about quitting cigarettes. I think that giving up two addictions at once might not be the best thing for my stress levels.
Separately, since I'm writing anyways, I thought I'd tell you all how things are going in a more general since. I don't write in here much at all, so I think that I owe it to you to elucidate in regards to my day to day stuff.
Actually, thinking about it, I don't talk to many people about my personal life and what's going on with me on a more mundane level. Huh.
Aaaanyways, as many of you know, I'm on my second to last semester of my bachelor degree in art history. [applause]. School has been hit or miss. I've been lagging behind in some things, ahead of the game in others, and sometimes just not giving a damn. I suppose this is related to the length of time I have spent in school, as some kind of extended senior-itis. Luckily, I have been more-or-less on the ball enough to keep my head above water and not worry about flunking my classes. This is one of those rare semesters where something catastrophically bad hasn't happened mid-semester that would have caused me to lose all interest in my studies and want to drown myself in the fountain at school.
At home, I'm living with Moose in a two bedroom duplex. We have a study, a living room, a kitchen/laundry room, and a bathroom plus our two bedrooms. It's just enough space for the two of us without being crowded. In fact, we have room for more furniture; just not enough money to get any. Nonetheless, having a roommate has freed up enough capital to not overdraft my bank account every month like I have for the last three. HA! I bet you didn't know that about my situation, did you? That's okay, I haven't told anyone about it, really, so don't feel bad about it. Having a roommate has freed up enough capital, in fact, that I think I can pretty much afford a trip to California about every other month or so if I really want to. That is, if I don't get the internship.
I applied to an internship at MOCA in LA, as a curatorial intern. This particular position is unpaid, three months long, and full-time. Luckily, my father has agreed to pay my rent and bills while I'm in California for as long as it's for the internship. I'm really excited about this opportunity, because it would be exactly the position I would need to kick-start my career in Art Recovery. Mind you, that's finding and recovering stolen artwork, not restoration. I don't have the patience for restorative work, and my hands shake too much. Like I was saying, with an internship from MOCA, my running The Crimson Room for about 3 years, plus my working with art glass my whole life, I would be able to get whatever job I desired in the art world that didn't require a masters or a doctorate.
As far as where I would live in LA if I get the internship, I'd be staying with Audrey. In case you've been living under a rock for the last four months or so, Audrey is the amazing girl whom I am seeing presently. She lives out there for work, but I met her here so it isn't some kind of internet relationship or anything. She has this great apartment off of Sweetzer Avenue, between Santa Monica and Sunset Boulevards, and works downtown. MOCA is downtown. So, if I don't take my car out there, which I'm currently pondering, then I could ostensibly carpool with her to work. But, she has relatively unconstant work schedule that keeps her up all hours of the night or all day for 14+ hours at times. So, I'm not sure that'd really work out.
I think that's enough for now. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed getting caught up with my life. Current Mood: cheerful
|Thursday, April 22nd, 2010|
I think I'm gonna quit larping and focus on school, my professional life, and other positive expenditures of my time.
I hope this decision will not negatively impact any of the wonderful friendships I've developed with the people I have come to know through game. I have thoroughly enjoyed game for the many years I've participated, and I hope you all have enjoyed gaming with me.
But, who knows, maybe I'll miss it.
P.s. I'm still gonna participate in the TT games I'm in, cause lord knows I need my dose of escapism.
|Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009|
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I paid the school its blood money, via a collection agency. Then, after dealing with all that nonsense, I picked up Jacqueline and we went ice skating. I had no idea that 1) I would be good at it, or 2) that it would be as much fun as it was. Its a lot like rollerskating, except that it's perhaps easier to control yourself on the ice skates and there's the possibility of drifting sideways.
After skating, we went to the Vortex and had a couple of drinks and talked until Trivia started. How I hate trivia, because it single handedly killed a beautiful conversation about art and music and philosophy.
My back has decided that it's angry at me, though, for my fun.
Ah well, at least I'm only at work for a little while tonight, and then I get to come home and relax some more, unless I get called to go do something. Current Mood: cheerful
|Tuesday, December 1st, 2009|
Also, anyone want an invite to Google Wave? I have 4 left.
Leave me a comment saying "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."
• I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.
You don't have to answer them or re post them really. I am just answering Sabrina's questions. But, I will totally ask questions of you.
1. Still Schooling it?
Yes and No. As a matter of fact, today I am going up to GSU to pay them for the semester I dropped out due to ... difficulties. And from there I hope to pick up where I left off and finish within a year. Hurrah! right? Well, I am not certain that they will let me back in since the debt went to collections, and they may insist that I pay the collections agency and refuse to let me re-enroll.
2. Hows the car situation?
I sold the car for 80$ to a man with a tow truck who was going to rip out the catalytic converter and sell the rest for junk. Worth it. Now I just roam the city on my motorcycle, where I feel more comfortable anyways, and don't have to give rides to people.
3. Single life- Better or worse than relationship land?
I'm not sure. It feels like I just traded in one set of responsibilities for another. So, instead of a fiancee' telling me to clean the room, its now my parents. :-P But, I'm getting more done now than I did then, in terms of actually dealing with what life throws at me, so maybe all of this was just one big wake up call.
4. Current Band find and what's so fascinating about them?
Apocolyptica. Which I guess isn't really that new of a group, but I recently came into some of their music, thanks mat, and I've been enjoying it for much the same reason that I still love Metallica's "S&M" album-- the blend of orchestral harmonies to rock-band melodies makes me happy, and they blend really really well.
5. Is it true what the girls say about guys with big hands and feet?
So I've been told. But, the opinions of the women who have said so are not exactly objective, so I can't tell you for sure. I've never compared. Current Mood: exanimate
|Monday, September 7th, 2009|
Looking for volunteers to help put together a massive, con-wide game of assassins. I think it would be epic. Several of us agree. I want to make this happen.
|Monday, August 31st, 2009|
|The End is Just a Little Harder When it's Brought About by Friends.
living with my parents.
car has blown up.
I still owe $1000 to the City of Sandy Springs.
But, god damn it, I'm still going to 'Con. I'm going to sell the heap of the car. I'm going to pay off my debt to "society" without going to jail. I'm going to find a place to live.
single again. Current Mood: gloomy
|Friday, July 31st, 2009|
|Party Tonight at my place
That Austin Parole Party is tonight!
the address is 691 John Wesley Dobbs Ave, Apt P, Atlanta, Ga, 30312.
the cost is $7 at the door, $3 for a cup that will grant access to the kegs of PBR. I know, it's cheap beer, but I'm trying to raise money, not lose it.
There will be 4 bands, all of whom local, (We had an alabama band, but they had to drop because their lead guitarist broke his wrist and their vocalist broke three ribs in unrelated accidents) plus aerial acts and firespinning, and chili for $2 a bowl.
If you can't make it, but still want to give me money, just call me up and I'll make whatever trip to come see you. Unfortunately, I don't do paypal.
The whole thing starts at 10pm! I hope to see you there.
|Tuesday, May 5th, 2009|
|game talk. don't read if you don't want nerd on you.
I haven't posted in such a long, long time.
but, I'd like to break the silence to say that I, for one, absolutely loathe the org. I just flat out hate it. I think it's bloated, rife with OOC politics that make it easy to abuse, and just generally has a negative impact on the game that I didn't know I loved playing until I started.
Perhaps it's some sort of misplaced elitism? I can think of time and time again when I've heard some out of towner say something completely retarded that has taken me, dropped me out of character surreptitiously, and left me feeling cold and alone. I've heard multiple stories about various huge characters that make me sad for the STs that have to create a game environment to deal with the corpulent monster sheets (and the sense of entitlement that goes with them). I've witnessed people come into a GA game, try to change our setting in a skullfuckery kind of way, and then leave without regard to the consequences. ($300,000,000,000 anyone? Perhaps I'll just leave it here in front of these schoolchildren who will hide it from the IRS for me!)
Maybe I just don't like the actual way things are run on a organization superstructure basis? Like Genre Packets that hurt my head. Or people arguing incessantly over whether someone deserves an org strike for punching someone else in the face. Or voting to allow that Salubri into a cam game who was buddy buddy with a tremere and had vicissitude with black spiral dancer allies and a sword that totally does 6 agg before adding potence.
There are so many things that I have witnessed and heard about that make me want to destroy every single byte of information on every list of which the org is comprised. But, every so often there are stories that fill me with hope and joy. Maybe that character, who is such an abomination that hengeyokai should have dropped from the sky in confusion only to tear the poor bastard apart before being cast aside into the abyss, finally got axed. Or the Justicar said something that made sense and wasn't just trying to cover the OOC ass of the coord.
Those things make me happy.
So yes, I hate the org.
Now, let me take this in completely different direction. I would never, ever tell someone that they couldn't play in and enjoy the organization. Or that Whispers of Atlanta or Stolen Hours should leave the organization (Which I and others have joked about from time to time but it's never been serious).
The real difference in style of play I've seen in my experience is just this: some players play their characters, some players play the rules, and some players lie, cheat, threaten, insult or just get huffy when things don't go their way. If you fall into the first two categories, awesome. We can get along fine. If you are in the third, maybe it's best if you just don't come round these parts no more. But, that has absolutely nothing with whether or not someone enjoys the org. It's all just a matter of personal taste.
|Monday, December 8th, 2008|
By the way, if you're interested, I'm on twitter. I think you know what name to look for.
Also, christmas is coming up. If anyone wants to get me something, I'm looking for a portable turntable.. Something that isn't going to fail me within a month.
My parents have decided to get me a iPhone. They asked me if I'd rather have an iphone or a blackberry, and I told them that anyone who gets a blackberry almost instantly becomes a jerk. My dad agreed, so now an iphone + my own service is coming my way. A service with unlimited text, so I don't have to pay upwards of a $100 a month on txts. hurrah.
Meanwhile, I'm really liking my job as a busser at Everybody's Pizza in Emory. It's good exercise, the people are nice, and the job is simple. Maybe not easy, but simple. The only thing that sucks about it is the pay, however. I make minimum wage plus tip-outs. In order to make ends meet, I'm going to need another job. Know anyone who's hiring?
Also, the house is empty except for Moose and I, now. Andrew + Anie have bought their own house, and Mat moved with them. So, if you're looking for a place to stay, rent + utilities comes out to about $1100 a month. We were paying $220 a person with 5 folks there. We're really only looking for one or at most two more people. Current Mood: cold
|Thursday, November 20th, 2008|
When it rains, it pours, and I'm feeling punch drunk and mixing metaphors.
|Tuesday, November 4th, 2008|
|Read it like a storybook. Read it like you're holding a knife in your hand.
Remember kids, if you don't have your voice heard now, you won't get another chance to have any power in this political system whatsoever for another four years. Write all the letters you want, they won't care. They'll laugh all the way to the bank.
It's not like there are alternatives to playing the little "press a button pick a candidate" game they have going on. You don't have the opportunity to make decisions locally that make life better for everyone. There's nothing you can do but go and stand in the little booth.
And boy howdy does that standing in the little booth help everyone out. It's a huge decision, I know! Which candidate will you put your faith in for the next four years? Who will you believe and trust? Who will you inevitably turn on at the end of their presidency and say, "Boy, I sure do hope the next guy is better than that son of a bitch!" Who is going to take us into the next four, maybe eight years of warfare? I mean, you do realize that not a year has gone by where we aren't involved in a conflict in one place or another, right? But hey, it's a turbulent time, and we need those troops to fight for our way of life!
Wait, what does that way of life even entail, and why is it worth fighting for? And why does our way of life involve killing people in other parts of the world who don't want our way of life? These are complicated questions, with more complicated answers. So don't think about your own answers to them. Just trust what the man on the television tells you, and believe what he has to say about his opponent. Trust the decisions he makes. It's not like you can really do anything about them. Oh, you can go stand in the little booth and make believe that by pressing a button you've actually accomplished something.
Maybe you'll be able to meet the new president, and he'll listen to your concerns and answer your questions! He'll shake your hand and smile; he'll nod and tell you that he'll think about what you had to say. Boy, that'd be swell, wouldn't it? I bet he'd even give you a pat on the back and a thank you for your vote, even though it was the stodgy old white men in cloistered office buildings, and back rooms in government buildings, and those friendly judges wearing executioner robes who put him into that office; bought him that $800 suit and that fake smile. Then, once you've left, the practical army of advisers and consultants would march right in there with big black boxes full of rainbows and kittens, and he'll make promises to those men and women with greedy eyes, and forget all about your problems, forget all about what you had to say.
On second thought, don't go stand in the booth. Get together with a bunch of friends whose real names you will never know, who don't know your real name, and do something... else with your time.
(insert presidential march, not me "baa-ing" at you. I have not interest in mocking people by calling them sheep.) Current Mood: chipper
|Thursday, October 30th, 2008|
My AIM ate my buddy list for some reason. Please post here with your screen name so that I might rebuild it.
all comments will be screened, so you don't have to worry about that.
|Monday, October 27th, 2008|
That's emma goldman, so you know.
By the by, I'm completely freaking out over everyone I need to call and invite, with no idea of really where to start. So, if I haven't called you personally to let you know what's going on, don't fret. I'll get my head out of my ass sooner or later. Current Mood: Frantic
|Saturday, October 25th, 2008|
If I have my wedding in the Fox Theatre, do you think that any of the vampire players will show up, or avoid the place out of fear of reprisal from the fair folk?
I am now listed as Engaged to Amelia Hartley on Facebook! Yes, it's for reals. I'm incredibly pleased about it.
Questions, well wishes, comments, angry letters may now be directed here, as well as any comments from beautiful women who wish to express their jealousy. :-P
|Tuesday, October 21st, 2008|
It seems to me there's only a certain number of people who are allowed to be jerks at a single time. Some people have been jealously guarding their position as a jerk. It's time to allow other aspiring dick-heads there spot in the sun of jerkdom.
What I mean to say is, if you've been a jerk for a while, let someone else take it over for you. Current Mood: cranky
|Monday, October 6th, 2008|
May I just say that the wide-spread use of GOP as a stand-in for the Republicans really bothers me. It means Grand Ol' Party. It's use isn't really unweighted, media. please just call them the reps and the dems. It makes more sense and doesn't drill us with the fact that the republicans are grand. >_
|Friday, September 26th, 2008|
today I wash clothes, finish off a window, and go see a man about a busboy position. It feels like I've got the job sort of out-of-box. but, then, that's how it always feels but never works out to be.
You know, I could go on and on about the failings of capitalism, and how this whole thing is breaking down because of the inherent greed of the thing. I could ask what people were expecting as the logical extension of the housing crash.
It's like shooting fish in a barrel, though, and I don't want to drag anyone's pride through the mud. So, what say we pick ourselves up, dust off, and have a revolution? Clearly the wall street goons have little to no interest in making sure that your money is safe. Really, they've been lending and lending and lending with no intention on stopping until the whole thing came tumbling down and they could leave with a suitcase full of cash! Lets fucking burn it down! It's the right time for it.
the weather couldn't be any better. Current Mood: chipper